50 Swan Lake

 

“Wu Meng,” Just as I was about to answer, Mary walked over. “I’ve found all the info you wanted me to find, the background of Chu Mei and Dai Yu, their parents’ relationship and their medical background. I even managed to dig up their social media accounts. There are so many things to go through so have at it.”

“Why are we still looking at these now that the case is over?” Gu Chen shook his head as he saw the large stack of documents Mary was carrying. I accepted them from Mary and thanked her. “Thank you, Sister Mary.” I turned to Gu Chen, “What’s there for us to lose to study these? Even though it’s confirmed that Dai Yu is the killer, aren’t you interested to know her deeper motivation?”

“Just tell me when you’re done.” Gu Chen shook his head. “I hate these kinds of table work the most.” I sighed, foolish humans! How could you not understand the pure ecstasy when you cracked a case fully open? For me, capturing the killer was always the easiest part, the hardest part was understanding their motives.

I hunkered down and sifted through the documents. Immediately something jumped out at me, when I read through Dai Yu’s medical document, I noticed that Dai Yu had taken a surgery when she was young. The surgery’s name was Multitoe Disfigurement: Ablative Surgery of the extra Toe on the Right Feet. At this point, my back was dripping with cold sweat. The name of the surgery was self-explanatory, it was to remove an extra toe. But it was not Chu Mei who did this surgery but Dai Yu. In other words, the girl that Chu Ye picked up from the roadside was not Chu Mei but this Dai Yu. Then it hit me. When we first encountered Dai Yu, she was scratching her toe. There was a small scar near the joint around her right foot's big toe!

The medical record appended: The extra toe has grown around the joint. For optimum result of recovery, it is suggested that the surgery is done before the patient reaches 3 years old.

Would Dai Yu remember undertaking this surgery from when she was still so young? So Chu Ye wasn’t really Dai Yu’s father, Chu Ye had taken away his biological daughter and handed the abandoned baby girl to his wife. If that was the case, his wife would know about the truth. Human hearts were always so complicated. So who was the real scapegoat? Was it Chu Mei or Dai Yu? I feared it was the latter.

If you really think about it, suppose you want to take revenge on someone, would you go after his adopted daughter or biological daughter? Furthermore, if Chu Ye brought Chu Mei with him, he could better protect her in person. In this case, perhaps the most dangerous place was the safest place. From Dai Yu’s story, we knew that Chu Mei and Chu Ye shared a very good relationship. If Chu Ye treated Chu Mei badly and only saw her as a sex object, would she return to attend to his funeral at first notice?

So, Dai Yu had to be the one being abandoned. The question was, did Dai Yu know about this? Even though the wound on her feet had healed, it still left a scar. Hadn’t Dai Yu questioned why there was a scar? Could she not access her own medical records? I believed Dai Yu knew the whole truth. Then why would Dai Yu still go through all the trouble of helping Chu Ye take revenge, kill the 6 brothers, kill Chu Mei’s money-hungry rental owners and steal away her body? The answer was her dance in the yard.

When the answer came to me, a melancholy suffused my heart. When Guan Zhenglin said she felt sorry for Dai Yu, I felt nothing, but now, that sadness gripped my heart and refused to let go. The ballet that Dai Yu did in her red dress at the yard was called Swan Lake. What was the story of Swan Lake? It was a very conventional story of a prince defeating an ugly old witch and rescuing a beautiful woman who had been transformed into a swan. After that, they lived happily ever after. But what was truly a happily ever after?

For Dai Yu, for the girl who was abandoned since she was young, what would her happily ever after be?

It was the feeling of being needed, and being loved. She needed to create the illusion that others needed her. Even though Dai Yu already knew that she was the one being abandoned, and she was the scapegoat, she didn’t dare to face the truth. Because she was afraid that once she did, her mother too would abandon the disguise. She would tell her that Chu Ye was not the great and protective father that she thought. She was lying not to others but to herself.

So how would a girl who was abandoned by the whole world create the make-believe that she was needed?

Dai Yu killed Chu Mei out of envy, she was envious of Chu Mei who was loved like a princess, Chu Mei who had won the world just by having a pretty face. Even after her death, someone was willing to pay 300000 RMB for her dead body. In contrast, Dai Yu was mocked by other children when she was young, she was pitied when she was older but no one had ever told her that she was needed. Indeed, in this world of ours, we were always more lenient towards the handsome and beautiful.

It was why Dai Yu murdered Chu Mei and stole those brides, because she was envious, envious that they were needed even after they were dead. In contrast, she, someone who was still alive, was not needed by anyone. I turned to Dai Yu’s social media, I found a post which was viewable only to the author. Like any other girl, Dai Yu had her crushes as well, she too yearned for love and to be loved. When her friends all paired off, she would always remain by herself. She didn’t even have a friend from the opposite sex whom she could talk to. Whenever the need ate at her, Dai Yu would count the different colors of patterned tiles under her feet at the university. There were 17933 white tiles, 5872 red tiles and 6211 yellow tiles.

“Actually there are 4 different colored tiles but I can only bring myself to count 3 of them. I’ve counted each of them more than 10 times already so the number should be correct. The last color is purple, I can’t bear to start counting it because after I’m done, what else is there for me to do? I need to keep that number a mystery and make myself recount the other colors every day, that way, I will never reach the end.” That was the status update Dai Yu left for herself.

…

The next day, Dai Yu was going to be brought to prison. When she was led out, she looked positively serene. Then again, what was there from this world which she would miss?

I walked forward to look at Dai Yu. Dai Yu turned back to look at me. “You got me, little brother.” Dai Yu told me in a peaceful tone. I didn’t know what to say so I slowly walked forward and pulled her into a hug. I said, “There is no one in this world who is not needed.”

I felt something damp hit my shoulder. There was not much I could do but to give her this little comfort before she died. When we parted, Dai Yu’s face was dry. She looked as unkempt as ever.

“I’ll be going now.” Dai Yu whispered, “Thank you.”

Dai Yu was escorted away, based on her crimes, she would be given the death penalty. If she wasn’t born in this world which claimed that it wasn’t shallow but still placed heavy emphasis on appearance, her life might be totally different.

Guan Zhenglin clearly didn’t understand my action. She asked, “What did you two talk about? Also didn’t you say there is a different possibility? I’ve thought about it for a whole day already, I couldn’t figure it out.” Therefore, I shared my perspective with Guan Zhenglin. I told her that Dai Yu committed the murder not because she loved her father and not because she was against the atrocious culture of Minghun. It was due to envy festered from intense loneliness. She was envious of Chu Mei, envious of the brides who were still needed after death, so she murdered Chu Mei, murdered the Minghun organizers, murdered the 6 brothers who raped Chu Mei but refused to even lay a finger on her. Human beings were laughable creatures. Dai Yu was envious of the dead brides and was envious of Chu Mei who was raped. It was laughable yet also saddening.

When I was done sharing, Guan Zhenglin and Gu Chen shook their heads. Guan Zhenglin said, “Wu Meng, you always see things from the darkest and most cynical perspective. The basis of your speculation is that Dai Yu knew she was the child being abandoned and propped up as the scapegoat but I believe Dai Yu didn’t know that at all.”

Gu Chen added, “Yes, your worldview is too pessimistic. Dai Yu herself has given us her motive but you insist on going through those long documents and came up with a motive that even Dai Yu didn’t admit to. From how I see it, you got it wrong this time.”

“I’m with Gu Chen.” Guan Zhenglin placed her hands on her waist. “I firmly believe that it was Chu Mei who told Dai Yu to kill her and Dai Yu only did it because she knew her best friend’s life would be harder than death. I believe that Dai Yu knew Chu Ye was her father and she did all these to avenge his death. I believe that Dai Yu is disgusted by the horrible practices of Minghun and she killed those people to stop the culture from continuing.” Guan Zhenglin pressed, “The desperation for validation, the murders motivated by envy, those are products of your sick mind. If you ask me, I think you need to take a good rest, look at the circles around your eyes!”

I sighed, “That’s why I said this is just another possibility. No matter who’s correct, she is going to die soon and the truth will die with her.”

But what of her parting words and the tears on my shoulder? Did I imagine those?

Did the ugly not deserve to be loved? Was the ugly meant to be mocked? Actually I had been meaning to ask why Dai Yu didn’t go for plastic surgery. After all, if a man could be turned into a woman, she could get reborn as a pretty woman easily. However, I held my tongue. Perhaps the girl still hoped that one day someone would look through her appearance and cherish her for who she was and not who she made herself out to be.

The ugly truth or the false beauty? I personally was not against plastic surgery but perhaps Dai Yu wanted to be the true version of herself.

“Oh right!” I took out a small booklet, it contained an English phrase I copied from Dai Yu’s social media. “Guan Zhenglin, I know you come from a famous university. Help me see what this means. I know the individual letters but they lose me when they’re put together like this.”

“Dummy, let me!” Guan Zhenglin reached for the booklet.

She translated:

When I was still a girl, mother brought me to see Swan Lake. Everyone fell in love with the white swan but I love and identify with the ugly witch the most.