83 Hope at 18

 

Everyone has the right to love and to be loved, of course Chen Lin had that right too. Chen Lin loved this woman, this woman he had seen for just once. That was the first and last time Chen Lin saw her. But once was enough, right? From that day onwards, Chen Lin refused to take the stage, refused to expose himself so openly to people other than the one he loved anymore. At the start, the members didn’t say anything but after he didn’t take the stage for a whole week, people started to complain. Why the rest needed to work while Chen Lin could rest day after day, this was not fair. The circus didn’t keep those who didn’t work, that was the rules.

The first to complain was the man without limbs, people called him the Worm Man. He slithered before Chen Lin and shouted, “Chen Lin, you have to take the stage already. Why do the rest of us need to work but you can rest backstage, that is not fair.”

The Bottle Man who spent his life inside the bottle concurred. “That’s right! Why do we have to work to feed you? Do you know how hard is it to earn money? Master Toad has invested in you for over 10 years but how much you’ve earned back for the circus? You’ve only been working for years and you already demand special rights?” They were reasonable, because what else could they use other than reason? They weren’t able to win Chen Lin in a fight considering they were both missing limbs. Chen Lin was silent because he believed they were right. If not for the circus and its people, he would have died 18 years ago.

But Chen Lin still refused the stage. In those few years, Chen Lin became a philosopher. That was the first time Chen Lin learned to think independently and the big question surfaced, why was he alive? Were he and his circus friends born to be gawked at by others? Was he going to spend the rest of his life like the rest of the circus people, being treated like monsters, feared and disgusted before eventually forgotten? That was such a sad life and one Chen Lin didn’t want for himself.

The young girl who came to see a freakshow probably wouldn’t know that her appearance had caused such a strong ripple effect in another person. Sometimes, the world was that strong, and life was that strange.

When he was presented with the cake with 18 candles, Chen Lin hadn’t taken the stage for months already. Other than a few complaints, his circus family didn’t do anything. They were actually all kind people, they just had an ugly exterior. In fact, it was his circus family who purchased the birthday cake for Chen Lin. Ringleader Toad went into the city to buy the cake for Chen Lin. He was frozen at the counter, conscious of the gaze of the others. In the end, it was the Worm Man who leaned on the Ringleader Toad’s body who said, “Hello, miss, we would like a big birthday cake!” The Worm Man said he had never felt as courageous as he did that day. The Bottle Man and Worm Man sang the happy birthday song while the senile dwarf twirled around. The Siamese twins put a birthday cap on Chen Lin’s head. There were 2 more performers tapping the table along the song. Ringleader Toad said, “Our Xiao Lin is finally a grown man.”

18 years were too long but also too short. Suddenly a melancholy settled over the celebration. The big top was normally filled with people to see their performance but that day, they took a special day off. The tent was empty, almost as empty as their hearts.

“Why don’t you make a wish?” The Siamese Twin smiled at Chen Lin and said. Chen Lin made a wish and his wish was that his circus family didn’t need to survive based on derision by others anymore. Therefore, Chen Lin picked up the knife meant for the birthday cake and stabbed everyone else. After they were dead, no one would look down on and make fun of them anymore, at least that was what Chen Lin thought. First, he sliced through Ringleader Toad’s cheeks. The pus exploded and brackish liquid flowed out and filled the tent with an indescribable stench. Everyone was shocked by this sudden aggression. The two deformed performers beside the table never got the chance to run before they were killed by Chen Lin.

His next target was the Siamese Twins. They had four legs but they couldn’t run faster than Chen Lin. Chen Lin cut off one neck and then for the sake of insurance, cut off the other. The rest was easier to deal with. The old dwarf didn’t even know what happened. She was still dancing beside the table, hoping to get a piece of the cake. Unfortunately she was too small to reach the table. Chen Lin picked some cream up with the knife and extended it towards the old dwarf.

“Don’t! Granny, stay away!” The Bottle Man was unable to move so he could only shout from inside the bottle. The old dwarf didn’t heed his advice. The moment her mouth touched the cream, the knife pierced through her neck. “Why, why are you doing this?” The Bottle Man cried. Chen Lin ignored him and began his search for the Worm Man. He finally found him, he was wiggling on the ground trying to escape but of course, how fast could he move like that? Chen Lin only took 2 steps before he stopped before the Worm Man. Worm Man lifted his head and Chen Lin gave him a sweet smile. Finally, only the Bottle Man was left.

The man was wailing openly now, his despaired cries echoed inside the empty big top. “Do we not treat you well?” The man demanded between tears. He had worked at this circus for decades already but today everyone he knew had died, suddenly he was not that afraid of death anymore. Bottle Man had more than once considered suicide due to his circumstance but he ultimately didn’t dare to do it due to fear of pain. But now it didn’t matter anymore. At that moment, he understood it was not because of pain that he feared to die, it was because of hope. He always had his circus family around him and they gave him hope to face the world together but now they were all dead, he no longer had hope so he wasn’t afraid of death anymore.

Chen Lin answered, “You guys are the best family I could’ve asked for but I do not want any of you to continue living a life like this.” Therefore Chen Lin murdered everyone. Chen Lin’s goal was for everyone to die and that included himself. However when he was supposed to kill himself, he hesitated. Chen Lin still had hope, he hadn’t given up. Chen Lin sat among the bodies and contemplated for 3 hours. He was hungry and stopped to finish his birthday cake. Chen Lin cleaned out the circus’ savings and before he left, he burned the tent.

When the police intervened, the coroner soon found out that the bodies were burnt after death and didn’t die in the fire. Everyone’s fatal wounds were caused by a knife so that was probably only one killer. The identity of the dead was very easy to check because they were all freaks. They had different bone structures than normal humans, through bone comparison and witness testimony, the identification was completed. The police soon noticed one person was missing and that was Chen Lin. Therefore, they had all the reasons to believe Chen Lin was the killer, this was a very simple case. All the evidence was placed there to be collected and Chen Lin had no alibi. However, the equipment 10 years ago was not that good, Chen Lin had disappeared into anonymity. After releasing the warrant, there was nothing else they could do… until one day many years later, Chen Lin was captured in a total accident.

It was a different city, involving a car accident. A car derailed from the road and the driver accidentally drove into the river due to exhaustion. Thankfully the car windows were open or else the water pressure would have shut the passengers in. But that didn’t mean that there was no danger. None of the family of 3 knew how to swim. The pedestrian was stunned but at that moment, a woman jumped into the river. The woman first rescued the child and then the wife. Finally with the aid of another Good Samaritan, they managed to save the husband. The family of 3 was saved by this woman, they knelt before her to thank her for saving their lives. But the woman was unable to say anything, she was too tired. Hauling people out of water was extremely exhausting. It was already tiring to fight against the current alone much less when one had to carry another person with them. When the police and ambulance arrived, the woman was ferried to the hospital as well.

“Wait, this person looks familiar.” One of the officers said.

“I think so too.” The other officer looked closer. Then another officer slapped his thigh. “Wait, she’s the wanted fugitive we saw online, isn’t she?”

And that was how Chen Lin was captured.

The family who was saved would never know that their savior was also a murderer. One year ago, this woman who saved them had murdered 7 people. They wouldn’t know that this woman wasn’t even a woman. So was Chen Lin a good or bad person? If he didn’t stop to save the family, he wouldn’t have been captured. Chen Lin was given life imprisonment, if everything went like usual, he would spend the rest of his life behind bars. But if there was a word that defined Chen Lin’s life, it was unusual. 6 years after his detention, Chen Lin escaped from prison, he had been keeping a low profile for 3 years until now.

So it was Chen Lin who hid inside the room and kidnapped Liu Fei’er.

“How did he escape from prison?” Xiao Liu asked.

Mary explained, “Chen Lin has been planning to escape since he was detained. He used a small spoon and dug a path through the toilet for 6 years. He escaped through the sewer and disappeared.”

“Wait, no one noticed that?” I shook my head. “This prison’s management is so bad. The prison that I grew up in would never allow this to happen. What about his cellmate, why didn’t they report him?”

Mary shrugged and asked, “That will circulate back to Chen Lin’s unique gender identity. If you’re the prison master, would you put him in the male or female cell?”

I shook my head helplessly.

“Therefore, to solve this problem, the prison master opened a single cell just for Chen Lin.” Mary said, “And because of that, no one noticed his work for 6 long years until the day he escaped.”

Six years of digging. When Chen Lin was 18, he prepared to kill himself but when he was 28, he appeared to have found hope.

 

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