368 Firefly

 

Han Fei found himself unable to move his eyes away from the phone screen. He couldn’t understand why this comedy actor would search for things like that. From his perspective, the man already possessed everything Han Fei once wanted, to become a good comedy actor, have many famous works, live in a big house and have a luxurious life. The man in Room 4094 was Han Fei’s former ideal self, but when Han Fei met the person, he realized the man was not only not happy, he was extremely unhappy.

‘Why is that?’ After their brief interaction, Han Fei could see that the comedy actor was a kind and gentle person. When Han Fei approached him in the middle of the night with a child, the man didn’t react with caution and alertness but instead assumed the child was sick and needed help. ‘He shouldn’t end up like this, a man like him shouldn’t end up like this!’ Han Fei saw himself in the comedy actor. He repeated this statement, perhaps convincing himself.

The phone suddenly vibrated, and a new message came in. Han Fei touched the screen subconsciously, it was a private message.

Meat Hodgepodge, “Can you contact Yan Zu? I’ve sent him many messages and made many calls, but there is no reply.”

Meat Hodgepodge, “He has deleted everything on his profile page. I clicked into it and it was empty.”

Meat Hodgepodge, “Are you there? Firefly? You’ve been showing up less and less lately too, please don’t scare me!”

The person called Meat Hodgepodge sent many messages. The comedy actor who was busy inside the bedroom quickly rushed over when he heard the endless vibration of his phone. He picked up the phone and scanned through the messages. Then he called a number but it was not picked up. He called several times and the call didn’t go through, it was like his calls had gone into a dark hole. “Why aren’t you picking up your phone? Haven’t we already made the promise?”

The calmness on the young man’s face completely disappeared. Han Fei had no idea what was the relationship between the young man and the person he was calling but he could feel the anxiety from the young man.

The young man opened a group chat and private-messaged many people. He got their replies one by one. As he read through the replies, he stood in the living room. He was unmoving, his eyes glued to the screen. After a long time, when Han Fei came over to look at the phone, the young man finally reacted. The young man forced a habitual smile. He didn’t hide the content on his phone, instead he said with forced levity, “A friend of mine has left.”

“Left?”

The young man turned to look at the night sky out the window, “He has returned to the sky.” Those two sentences appeared to exhaust the young man. He slumped to the sofa like a broken doll. He picked up the blanket as if looking for his pills, forgetting that he had already moved them to his bedroom.

The black phone vibrated again. The messages kept coming in. The young man checked them before Han Fei. The young man was different from before, he answered the replies seriously. Then he clicked on a group chat called Happiness Neighbourhood. He looked at one of the profiles which was forever greyed out. He wanted to say something but he didn’t know what.

Meat Hodgepodge, “@everyone, it has been confirmed that the youngest of our group left 3 hours ago. His account data will be handed over to Firefly as per our custom.”

Laughing all Day, “Yan Zu is gone? Are you sure? You’ve gone to the hospital to check? He is the most optimistic among us. Even the doctor said that he was recovering well! We have already made a date to go online and beat up some foreigners!”

Fish and Water, “2 days ago, the kid showed me his homework. He said he was preparing to go back to school. How can this happen?”

Reading the messages, the young man finally keyed in a few words. Firefly, “It’s true, I’ve contacted his stepfather. Unfortunately, until the end, I was unable to persuade him to mend the bridge with his stepfather, I’m sorry.”

Meat Hodgepodge, “Why are you apologizing? You don’t owe anyone an apology!”

Fish and Water, “This is hard on all of us but do not let the emotions beat you. Everyone, please remember to take your medication on time. If Yan Zu’s stepfather is not willing to take over his account, then we will follow the set rules and leave it with Firefly.”

Laughing all Day, “Firefly, thank you.”

An account detail and password were sent to the young man’s phone. He looked at the account for a long time before he opened his computer and used the kid’s account profile to log into a virtual game on a social platform. This was a management style game. The kid’s avatar was tall, muscular and handsome. His IGN was Xin Lu Yan Zu, but in real life, the kid was small and thin, he was often bullied and slandered. He was not good at interacting with people. His farm was left unattended for a long time already, he last logged in half a year ago.

The game was tied to the social platform so it was bound to a person’s social account. It recorded the person’s history on the internet. The game had a memory theatre, book of joy, negative emotions management centre and so on.

The young man controlled Yan Zu’s avatar and walked into the house. The only thing purchased using real money in the small house was a large and rare photo frame. A group picture was placed inside the frame. There were more than 10 people and everyone was in their avatars but part of the avatars had been greyed out. Looking at the group picture, the young man lowered his head slowly before finally moving his eyes away.

Walking to the young man’s side, Han Fei patted the man on his back.

The man kept his head lowered and his hands pressed against the table. He suppressed the choking in his voice and said in a voice as steady as possible, “I knew this kid from an Iyashikei game. The people in that Happiness Neighbourhood are all people with illness, we have gathered together due to certain reasons. We are each other’s support group but as time passes on, more and more profiles become greyed out.”

“Did you set up the group yourself?”

“It was an old man who gave it to me, I am the group’s only manager now.” The young man was a good actor so emotional control was basic for him. When he lifted his face again, most of the pain was gone. He tried to present himself as optimistically as possible no matter how wounded he was feeling.

From a locked drawer, he took out a diary. The young man flipped through it slowly, every page recorded a different account detail and password. He turned through them slowly, like each page was extremely heavy. When he reached a blank page, the man carefully jotted down the kid’s account details and password. He triple-checked the details. After ensuring there was no mistake, he placed the diary back into the drawer.

“I really didn’t expect the kid will leave before us.” The young man stared dumbly at the boy’s avatar. The boy’s virtual account, all of his memories were left in cyberspace, these were all that remained of a living person. “He was the most optimistic and happy person in the group, he encouraged everyone daily and kept us updated on his daily improvement…”

“But no matter how good one is at acting out optimism, one will never find true happiness.” Han Fei had no idea why he said that, he couldn’t even tell whom it was meant for. Perhaps it was for the dead boy, the young comedy actor or even himself.